Medically the body’s physiological & emotional response is on the same level as loosing a child. The pain the heart experiences is excruciating and unrelenting and can last for many years.
For me personally, it took 2 years until the pain eased just a little. Until then my heart ached with pain every waking moment, with no exceptions.
It’s no surprise that when in this state our bodies are desperate to get to a point when the pain can stop or at least become somewhat bearable & desperate also to erase the memory that it was ever like this.
My message to you dear amazing soul is… even when the pain has gone, and healing is well on it’s way ‘some days the memories will still knock the wind out of you’
Your heart & mind will despair.
Sometimes it can seem worse than even the hardest years because now you thought the pain bit was over.
›I want you to be prepared.
›Make yourself a plan that will help when the emotions hit
I was not prepared for these times to start with, and I so very very nearly threw it all in.
I wouldn’t have blamed myself if I had. I mean who chooses to put their hearts through what feels like torture!
But I can tell you this – I am eternally grateful that I kept on fighting.
Fighting for the ‘just in case this actually works’ .. because the rewards of a relationship that has depth & battle wound scars & history & a deep understanding of each other that could come no other way, is so worth it.
Over the years when these memories have come – and my heart feels ripped open all over again, I have slowly learnt to find ways to re-assure myself that this will pass. That it is not the end of the road but rather another layer of healing.
Yes it is hard, sometimes it felt too hard, I won’t lie!
But if you make a plan & are prepared, communicate openly with your partner about the triggers & keep support around you, you will rise
Please reach out if you need. You do not need to do this alone.